I Sustain the Wings
by Pookie2
Summary: The Courier helps Boone overcome his traumatic past.  Part 5 of the "All the Things You Are" storyline.  Rated for Violence, Language and sexual innuendo.
1. In the Mood

Hello all, I'd like to take a moment for a brief warning about this story; it's a lot darker and sadder than the prior ones. Now, I feel it's necessary given the subject matter, but don't think the rest of this series is going to be all gloom and doom. I hope you enjoy it, even though it'll be tough going. Be strong, faithful readers!

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><p>"So the jerk punches me in the back, and I'm down for a couple minutes. By the time I get up, there's no one around." Layla's muffled voice filtered out from inside the machine she was leaning into. She paused her story as her hand reached out and fumbled for more scrap metal. Once she had it, she continued.<p>

"Next thing I know, Caesar's behind me talking about how I'll hang from a cross. That old chestnut. So he takes a swing at me with this crazy power fist, and I dodge him. Then I take his arm off with my chainsaw."

Boone stood a few feet away, waiting to hand the girl any of the tools scattered around if she needed them. The food processor represented the last of Camp McCarran's food woes. Shortly after they'd arrived at the camp, they'd wandered by Corporal Farber screaming at the unresponsive machine. The Courier was quick to offer to take a look.

This was Layla's first outing since recovering from her experience at the Sierra Madre. She had been ecstatic to be home and surrounded by her friends, but she'd eventually grown restless as her body healed and her strength started to return. To be honest, Boone had been itching to leave the casino as well, but didn't want to leave her while she was recovering.

Arcade had wanted to keep her inside for another few days to make sure she was well, but Boone could see how restless she was. So he'd suggested they go to the base; it was only a monorail ride away and full of heavily armed allies. Even Arcade had relented. Layla would have to try pretty hard to get into trouble at McCarran. The worst she usually got into at the base were poker games and getting soldiers to let her try their guns at the shooting range. So off she and Boone had gone, Layla mentioning that she owed him, again.

The food processor was giving her a hard time. The broken machine was only the latest part of Layla's efforts to improve the food situation at the camp; she'd already made an arrangement with the Crimson Caravan for better provisions. "I can't sit by and let that many people survive on only beans," she'd said as they'd set up the deal weeks earlier.

Layla continued her story of their escape from Fortification Hill as she worked. Boone wasn't sure if she'd noticed, but she had drawn a small crowd of listeners by the time she reached for the last piece of scrap metal.

"Then Boone's all 'Smile you son-of-a-bitch' and shot him dead."

Boone ignored her misquote as the nearby soldiers cheered, the ones within reach of the sniper clapping him on the back. He grinned marginally at them. Layla's head popped up from the food processor.

"What's all - woah." She clearly hadn't been expecting the crowd. She recovered quickly and closed the panel. "Anyway, let's see if it works." She reattached the power cord and flicked on the machine. It hummed to life and started processing the carrot she'd thrown in.

"There you go," she said to them. "It's back to real food for you kids." The group actually cheered louder. Layla laughed and pulled off the old uniform shirt she'd borrowed to work on the machine, not wanting to get grease on her flowered dress. Her face grew perplexed as the cheering intensified further.

Later, after disengaging themselves from the crowd, and after she'd politely denied a few marriage proposals, Layla left the mess hall, Boone in tow. It had been a pleasant trip, and Layla definitely seemed to be in good spirits, but Boone couldn't help but think she was uncomfortable about something. She grown quiet, occasionally looking in his direction.

"Are you okay?" he said as she frowned off into space. When she turned her still serious gaze to him, he had the feeling he wasn't going to like what she was about to say.

"Are you ever going to tell me about Bitter Springs?"

The question felt like a punch in the face. He started at her for a few moments, not responding. The Courier had made a few attempts to talk to him about it before, but had backed down when it was clear he didn't want to talk. By the look she was giving him, he knew she wasn't going to give up today.

There was no doubt she had working idea of what happened. Layla had a knack for getting people to talk, and had ingratiated herself firmly to most of 1st Recon. That included his well-meaning but overly talkative former commanding officer, Lt. Gorobets. Which meant she probably knew most of the story. They'd been through a lot together, and though he found himself afraid of her reaction to his side of the story, Boone was surprised that he actually wanted to tell her.

She was still looking at him, patiently waiting for him to speak. He wanted to tell her, but couldn't seem to make himself do it.

"I will. Just…"

Layla's face softened slightly as he struggled to speak.

"Okay, when you're ready," she relented. She seemed satisfied for the moment that he'd agreed to talk. In the past he'd just refused or not answered at all. Any other person in the Mojave would have given up by now, though he wasn't surprised Layla hadn't.

He found her looking at him again, but now there was a small grin on her lips.

"What are we going to talk about when this is all out? I'll have nothing else to be nosy about."

"I'm sure you'll figure something else to pry into."

She narrowed her eyes at him and started walking away, making sure to knock her shoulder into him as she passed by. He followed behind her with a small grin.

"What am I paying you?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Well I'm docking you fifty a week, so now you have to pay me."

"I'll just leave."

"Fine. Enjoy cold Cram and stitching your own wounds."

"Enjoy fending off Deathclaws and Lakelurks on your own."

She turned her head and gave him a particularly dirty look. She hated Lakelurks.

"Well you just cost yourself that trip to the Gun Runners we were-" not looking, the girl crashed into an MP who'd been standing in the hall.

"Oh! Hornsby, I'm sorry!" She laughed, embarrassed. Boone recalled the man as one of the regulars at the base's poker games Layla had taken part in. The Courier sent another glare Boone's way. "Blame him, he was being mean to me."

"You probably deserved it," the man said, grinning at her.

Layla's mouth dropped and she leveled glares at both men. "Well that's it, I'm going across the river and joining the Legion. That'll show all you NCR jerks."

"They don't usually sign women up," Hornsby said.

"I'll just get a fake beard. They'll never know the difference."

Hornsby laughed, then adopted a slightly stern look. "Move on already, I'm busy."

Layla looked at the empty hallway with a mildly perplexed expression. "Yeah, you sure look it." She peeked over his shoulder at the door behind him. "What're you guarding?"

"Sorry, classified." The humor had slightly faded from the corporal, and Layla seemed to pick up on it. She was still smiling, however.

"Ah… wouldn't be anything to do with that captured Centurion, would it?"

Hornsby gave the Courier an exasperated look. "Why do we even attempt to keep secrets? Colonel Hsu's gonna be-"

"He's the one who told me," Layla said, smiling sweetly. "Anyway, let me go in." She adopted an official air. "The Colonel said I might be able to help."

The MP stepped out of the way, muttering something about nosy civilians as she and Boone passed by. Walking into the small room, they saw a section of the cement wall ripped away, replaced with a glass panel. In the room beyond sat a grumpy looking Legionary.

"Can I help you with something? Or do you always look that way?" said a woman with Lieutenant's markings as they came in. Boone presumed she was referring to the sneer Layla was giving the Centurion through the glass.

The Courier grinned. "I'm Layla, he's Boone. Colonel Hsu thought we could help?"

"Yeah, I've heard of you. At this point, I'm willing to take all the help I can get. Silus over there has been less than forthcoming with useful information."

"Have you tried beating it out of him?" Layla said sarcastically.

Boyd laughed. "I like the way you think, did I tell you that? We can't hurt prisoners. Some bullshit policy left over from Tandi's presidency… but you're not with the military. You're not held to such high ideals, and for all Silus knows, you're nuts."

Layla's face fell into a stern look. "I'm not going to torture a prisoner."

"Ah you're no fun," Boyd said. "If you want to try to talk it out of him, be my guest. There's more than one way to skin a cat. Hey! Let's skin him. That'll take the smug look off his face."

Layla frowned again, and Boyd groaned.

"Whatever, Goody-Goody," said Boyd. "Let me go talk with him, build you up and then you can go in. Oh, and one in at a time, and no weapons."

Boone didn't like that, but Layla shrugged. "Easy enough, he's got all the good stuff anyway."

The Courier only had her flowered dress and her Pip-Boy. Most of her equipment was in the locker they'd been given at the base. Boone opened his mouth to object to letting the girl go in alone to face a Centurion while still injured, but he found her already smiling at him.

"Quit worrying."

"All right," Boyd said before he got a chance to speak. "Give me a minute, then you'll go in." She stepped into the next room, and the Centurion immediately spoke to her.

"Lieutenant, I was just thinking about your neck."

"How sweet," Boyd said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I was thinking about how good a slave collar would look on it. I tell my men to put them on just tight enough so the slave can always feel it. So they know who owns them."

"Well, isn't he a charmer," Layla murmured to Boone.

"You shouldn't go in there alone…" he said to her. The girl wasn't completely healed, and even if she was, the Legionary looked like he could easily overpower her.

"You worry too much," she said. "Besides, I've got an plan…"

Boone reluctantly let it go. Layla's plans usually worked, and he'd be nearby. He could hear Arcade's admonishments in his head already.

"You might want to save that collar for my friend" Boyd answered the Centurion. "You're aware of the NCR's policy on treatment of prisoners, right?"

"Of course…" There was some suspicion in the man's voice.

"Well, my friend isn't." The Lieutenant looked through the glass. "Come on in and get acquainted."

Layla shot Boone one last grin as she walked to the door. Boyd came out and stood next to Boone to see what the Courier would do.

"Do you think there's going to be any trouble?" she asked casually.

"Probably," Boone said, watching as Layla came to a stop in front of the Legionary.

"Well, you're an ugly little worm."

Layla laughed at the Centurion's remark.

"Ain't you friendly. I thought we could have a little chat. Catch up on old times, maybe talk about how things are going since Lanius' promotion…" Layla smiled sweetly at Silus, who gave her a suspicious look. He searched her face a moment.

"You're the Courier, the one who murdered Caesar."

Layla smirked marginally, not bothering to correct him.

"Let me guess," she said. "'The Legion will swoop on us. Retribution!' I've heard it already."

He smiled coldly at the girl. "Not just the Legion. You'll find your fellow profligates scrabbling to bring you to us…"

The Courier's face was blank for a moment, then she seemed to realize what he meant.

"The Legion put a price on our heads."

"Twenty thousand Aureus for you, and twenty thousand for your lapdog, alive…" He turned his gaze to Boone through the glass.

"What's that in caps?" she asked curiously.

"Two million." he answered, turning back to her. Layla gaped at him.

"Sweet, buttery goodness!" she laughed. "Two MILLION?"

Despite his concern about this development, Boone couldn't help but be amused at Layla's reaction. She gave him an impressed grin before looking back to Silus.

"What about dead?" she asked. The centurion suddenly looked dangerous as an ugly smile slid over his face.

"There is no reward for your corpses. The Legate wants you alive." Boone noticed the shock on her face, and so did Silus. "Lanius wants to see the NCR dog personally. He wants to break his body and peel his flesh until his screams carry all the way across the river. Once we've broken him body, mind and spirit, we'll hang what's left from a cross, visible to all his brothers."

Boone saw Layla glance his way briefly. Her earlier amusement was gone, replaced with a growing and poorly hidden horror. She looked back to the centurion, who smiled wolfishly at her.

"You, on the other hand, will get that slave collar. Normally someone like you would go for a decent but not overly high amount. You're too small to be a proper wife, inferior to bear strong offspring. Many of our ranks would prefer you as a plaything. But because of your crimes, men would give much to punish your body."

He leered at her, dragging his gaze over her body, and Layla was clearly unnerved. Boone's hands clenched painfully tight as he looked to Boyd.

"Get her out of there. Now." The lieutenant was already moving for the door.

"Silus!" she said casually. "You're so chatty today. Usually I can't get you to tell me when you need to take a leak…"

As Boyd spoke, Layla hastily made for the door. Her face was pale when she walked out of the room. Boone moved to intercept her, guiding her where they couldn't been seen from the interrogation room.

"Are you okay?"

The traces of fear on her face melted into a humorless grin.

"Yeah… asshole just sideswiped me." She let out a sigh. "Two million caps… That's a lot. Plenty of people who wouldn't normally turn someone over to the Legion would for that kind of money."

She was right, and it was something they were going to have to deal with, but he knew her. She processed bad news emotionally at first, logic taking hold later. Layla was staring off into space, chewing a fingernail absently while a worried frown marred her face.

"They're not going to get you," he said with enough force to get her attention. She smiled at him.

"Coming from anyone else I'd call that bravado…" Layla said. Boyd had come back into the room before he could tell her what he'd do to anyone who threatened her.

"Well, that didn't go like I thought," the soldier said. The biting sarcasm was gone, replaced with concern. "Go find somewhere to calm down, maybe let the colonel know about this. As for Silus, we'll get whatever he's hiding out of him yet." Boone nodded, placing a hand on Layla's shoulder to guide her. He was surprised when she didn't move.

"Hold on," she said. "I'm going back in there." Boyd gave her an incredulous look. Boone almost told her it was a bad idea, then he got a look at her face.

"I'll be fine. I've still go a plan. Besides, I don't take kindly to threats." The confidence was back in her voice, and there was an angry look in her eyes. "And no one threatens my sniper." She started for the interrogation room. Just as she reached for the door, she slumped her shoulders slightly and made a very convincing worried face.

Boone and Lt. Boyd walked back over to the glass panel to watch. Silus smiled at the Courier as she entered.

"Back, girl? You look scared. I wonder if you'll be sold to a single man or if many will pool their money. Perhaps the Legate will be generous and make you communal."

Layla flinched at that, making Boyd start for the door again.

"Fucking animal, I'm going to-"

"Wait," Boone interrupted. The Lt. turned back with a confused look. The sniper watched through the glass, carefully gauging the way Layla was acting.

"She's playing him."

Boone had seen Layla work people before. It was a lot different than how she usually acted. Layla was honest and friendly with most people. She had a natural charm that made most people let down their guard and open up to her. But when she wanted to, she could put on an act to persuade even the most distrusting of people. On occasion, she would slip up, and Boone usually had to clean up the mess. But it didn't happen often.

If she were as upset as she portrayed herself now, she wouldn't be facing the centurion. The girl had the habit of hiding when she couldn't control her emotions. No, she was letting the animal think she was terrified of him. Boyd rejoined him at the window, but looked like she was ready to bolt for the door at a moment's notice.

Layla rubbed her forehead anxiously, then took a deep breath. "What was your mission before you were captured?"

"We were sent to scout an NCR supply route and came across a profligate trading post, and we eliminated it. We'd thought we had slaughtered all the inhabitants, but one was able get a call for help to the NCR."

"Slaughtered them all?" Layla said, sounding horrified. "You didn't take any captives?"

"The Legate has been escalating his measures against your people." Silus sounded delighted at the girl's distress. "Normally we would take slaves from conquered towns, especially women and children. Now we just burn them all."

The wince and sickly look that came over Layla's face probably weren't an act.

"But what happened to you? I though Legionaries can't be taken alive. Did Lanius change that?"

The man snorted. "As if I would waste one of the Legion's greatest resources by killing myself."

The fearful act suddenly melted off Layla as she narrowed her eyes. "Some resource. You were too gutless to do what you're ordered to."

"Gutless?" The centurion clearly wasn't expecting the Courier's sudden attitude change. His face turned red, and his body coiled to attack. Both Boone and Lt. Boyd were running for the door as the man continued. "I'll show you gutless. I'll spill your guts all over this room!"

Just as he leapt out of his seat toward Layla, she side-stepped him, backing into the corner of the room. The Legionary looked half-crazed, hands outstretched toward the girl, by the time Boone reached him. Before Silus got the chance to advance further, he was tackled to the floor by Boone and Lt. Boyd. A moment later, Hornsby entered from the hallway, gun trained on the Legionary.

As they struggled to hold him down, Layla calmly walked for the door. "I'm getting a water. Anyone want anything?"

*.*.*

A few minutes later, Layla waltzed back into the interrogation room, surveying the situation. Silus was back in his chair. Hornsby stood nearby, his rifle trained on him with a murderous look. Boyd filed out of the room, but Boone didn't budge, refusing to let Layla stay in the room without him.

She seemed to have guessed that would be the case as she handed him a water bottle, casually drinking from her own. She crossed her arms, bottle still in her hand as she approached the Legionary.

"We have nothing to discuss, profligate," Silus said moodily.

Layla laughed. "Now I'm 'profligate'? I thought we were getting somewhere in our relationship." The Legionary looked on edge, glaring at her as she spoke.

"'Relationship?' You're nothing more than a profligate whore."

Now Layla looked unimpressed. "You sure talk tough for someone afraid to die."

"Afraid to die?" His mask of calm fell away as his face turned red. "Do you think I got this far in the Legion being afraid? I've faced odds that would make you, your bitch sniper, and any one of these poor excuses for soldiers wet yourselves." His face twisted further in rage as he saw her bored look. "I chose to bide my time. Suicide is a weak death on the battlefield."

"But isn't that what Caesar demanded of his troops? And isn't refusing to follow orders weaker?"

"You think I would have killed myself for Caesar, that megalomaniacal dictator? Or Lanius? He's insane! His methods are wasteful at best, destructive at worst. He could have the Frumentarius spy here help me escape, but he doesn't. He leaves me to rot because of his impossible belief that Legionaries are unable to err and those who do need to be executed immediately."

"Spy?" Layla said. Boone could tell Layla was putting a lot of effort into hiding the shock in her voice. "Who is it?"

"I don't know," Silus said. He seemed almost eager to tell her. "He sends troop movement information at night, sometimes my century would receive it."

"You're suddenly forthcoming with this…" Layla said suspiciously.

"The Legion won't take me back. Lanius will have me burned to death at best. If the spy keeps reporting, he'll report me. My only chance is for the Legion to never know what happens to me."

"I suppose you're right." Layla gave him a smile. "Well thank you. You've been very helpful."

"Nothing I've told you will change anything," the centurion said. The raging emotions faded from his expression, replaced with cold certainty. "In a month's time, NCR trooper heads will decorate The Strip, and you'll be begging for death at the end of a leash."

*.*.*

A few minutes later, after being thanked by Boyd for their efforts, Layla sat on one of the benches in the hallway with a heavy sigh. Boone could see her pull herself together, and she grinned. "Two million caps. Each. I think we got their attention." She leveled a smile at him. "And I don't think they like us."

Boone allowed himself a tight grin. "I guess we're doing our job."

"That we are, my boy." She got up, smoothing her skirt. "Well, let's go."

"Go where?" Boone gave her a confused look.

"There's a Frumentarius running around here somewhere." Layla sounded surprised at his confusion. "We've got to figure out who it is."

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><p>I had to watch a lot of Columbo to bring you today's chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks again to my editor, who is helping me with what will be increasingly harder to write sections of this story.<p> 


	2. Community Swing

I'm so sorry for the delay, my editor has been sick the last few days. Not his fault though, I should have gotten the chapter to him sooner :(. Anyway, things should go back to Saturday/Tuesday update schedule after this. I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

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><p>"They're scared of you. There's no other reason for a bounty that high," Colonel Hsu said as he guided Layla to his desk chair. The Courier was getting a little tired of everyone acting like she was going to faint, but she was grateful for their concern nonetheless.<p>

"And I don't think you'll have much to worry about from most of the NCR. You're pretty popular," he said with a chuckle. "So your only real concern are people who were going to kill you before. Only now they'll be trying very hard not to kill you, making them less effective."

Layla smiled. That made a lot of sense, which made her feel better. She wasn't fool enough to think the bounty wouldn't make things more dangerous. Both she and Hsu knew that. But it wouldn't be too different than before. She was going to have to use that logic with her friends when this came up later.

"Thank you," she said to him. He merely smiled, and she continued. "Now, what's this about a Frumentarius in the base? That centurion said he was the one giving away the troop movements here. We can't just sit around and wait for this guy to start murdering officers…" She said the last part with a meaningful look to the Colonel, who gave her a faint grin.

"You're right, can't let him kidnap any upstanding citizens with large bounties either…"

"Anyway," Layla sidestepped, "let us help. I bet we can figure it out if we put our heads together."

"I've got Captain Curtis on it already. He hasn't been made aware of the new intel from the prisoner, though." Another amused grin came to the man's face. "I think I can rule you out as a suspect."

"What? I'm the prettiest of Legionary of them all." She stood from her seat. "We'll keep you informed."

"Thank you. You've certainly been an angel on our shoulder."

Layla smiled, feeling a slight blush come to her cheeks. "Just trying to be an upstanding citizen." Hsu smiled at her as she and Boone left to find Captain Curtis.

*.*.*

"Layla. He's Boone." The Courier stuck her hand out to the captain, who shook it. "Colonel Hsu said we might be able to help you with the intelligence leak."

"Smart man," said the Captain. "I could use someone who can work under the radar…" Layla found the man to be a little stiff as he gave the two an appraising look. "Although I'm not sure you two could do anything 'under the radar.'"

"Don't be so sure," the girl said with a grin. "People don't tend to see things coming when they're distracted."

"That's true." He looked like he was about to say something else, but Layla interrupted him with a sudden thought.

"Oh! Colonel Hsu wanted us to pass along some information…" Curtis motioned for her to continue. "We just had a little chat with that centurion they caught. We don't know who the leak is, but now we know it's a Frumentarius."

"Frumentarius?" Curtis's face shifted into a slight sneer. "Did that dog have any other information?"

"Nothing useful," Layla said. "Oh, except that if I want to retire I just need to hand over Boone. Turns out we've got a bit of a bounty."

"Ah," was all the captain said. Layla was getting the suspicion the man didn't like her. "Well, if you want to start looking around for information, I'd suggest Sergeant Contreras. He's our Supply Officer, but he's been dabbling in less than legal supplies."

"Why is he still operating if you know what's he's up to?" Layla asked, a little surprised.

"The MPs can't make anything stick. Don't think they haven't tried. The last lead in my investigation went cold a few weeks ago. He was my next target."

"All right, we'll go have a talk with him."

*.*.*

"So you need a supplier?" Layla quirked an eyebrow. She knew the dance she and the supply officer had just started. "Why? You got something I wouldn't be able to get anywhere else?"

"Are you suggesting I have a side stock of illegal wares?" Contreras said carefully, but with a tinge of amusement in his tone. "Because that kind of talk could get a man in trouble…"

"That kind of talk could get a girl with a lot of caps to burn excited," she answered. The sergeant's face split into a grin.

"All right, maybe you can help me out. Do me a favor, and then we can talk about getting you excited."

Oh, he was good. Layla felt her cheeks burn a little and she held back a giggle. Pretty cocky too, as she could feel eye lasers coming from Boone. She couldn't help her smile as she answered.

"All right. What do you need us to do?"

*.*.*

"I don't like this…"

Boone hadn't been happy about leaving the base. He had been less happy they'd done so to deliver messages and pick up packages of unknown contents for Contreras. Layla had rather hoped the two boxes of .50 caliber rounds she gotten him at the Gun Runners would make him feel better. She looked his way and found him frowning from behind the box they'd picked up from the Crimson Caravan at the sergeant's request.

"Come on, how bad could it be? Crimson Caravan isn't in the habit of selling illegal merchandise in NCR territory." Seeing his still suspicious look, she sighed. "Fine, hold on." Boone came to a stop, and she carefully opened the box in his arms. Inside were various medical supplies.

"Huh, guess I was wrong," the sniper said, then noticed Layla's frown. "What?"

These are the base components for Jet and Psycho…" She looked up to find Boone's eyebrow raised, "You just need a few common cleaning chemicals to cook them up.

"So now what?" She was grateful for the lack of smugness in his tone as she closed the box.

"…That little- well now I'm pissed."

Now Boone was giving her an I-told-you-so look and she glowered.

"Why do you always get upset when I trust untrustworthy people?"

He merely stared at her, and she sighed.

"Let's see what he does when we get this back to him."

*.*.*

"These are drug components," Layla said flatly.

To Contreras's credit, he didn't seem even slightly fazed.

"Are they? I never realized that…" He looked into the box with an innocent expression. "Well, they're also necessary medical supplies for the base. If the people I sell them to abuse them, it's not my business." The Sergeant said earnestly, and convincingly so. "Well anyway, thanks for your help. How would you like to lend me a hand one more time?"

"I thought we were going to get to the exciting part?"

"We'll get to that. I'm sure I can give you something that'll satisfy you. Just come back in a little while, I'll have one more stop for you to make."

Layla was nearly ready to call this whole shebang off and go to Boyd, but she hesitated. Contreras knew who she was, yet was trusting her with a lot of sensitive, illegal information. She wanted to know how much he'd let her in on.

*.*.*

The package the supply officer handed Layla a few hours later was heavy and carefully sealed. Raising an eyebrow at Contreras, she found him smiling.

"Drop that off with Price at Miguel's Pawn Shop in Westside," he told her. "You need to use the pass code I gave you or he'll shoot you."

"Ah, great." Layla handed the box to Boone, who looked incredibly unhappy.

"Once you've got that done, come on back and we'll start talking about my more intimate ballistic services."

Stepping outside, Layla could feel eye lasers on her this time. Cringing slightly, she braced herself and turned. Sure enough, Boone looked like he was about to drop the box.

"I'm not transporting illegal chems…"

Layla let out a sigh. "Come on, we're trying to get to the bottom of this."

"We're looking for a Legion spy. The Legion doesn't allow chems."

That was a very good point. Layla frowned.

"We can at least find this Price guy. If nothing else, we can make Lt. Boyd's day by bringing her a lot of hard evidence on Contreras."

Boone shook his head, not arguing any further. They started for Westside with a slightly awkward silence hanging in the air. By the time they got to Miguel's, it was late afternoon. Layla hesitated at the door.

"Give me the box," she said. Boone gave her a newly suspicious look. "Come on, you didn't want to be the mule. Give it here."

He didn't move, and Layla sighed. "If this guy's got a itchy trigger finger, who do you want to have free hands?"

He looked like he was going to refuse again, then handed it over with a grumble. Fumbling past the box for the door handle, she stepped into the pawn shop. She'd be lying if she didn't admit to herself that she was nervous. Even though she wanted to continue this operation, Boone's concerns were close to her own. She didn't even pick up chems she found while scavenging, and now she was carrying a huge box of them to a drop point.

Trying to tamp down on her growing skittishness, she looked around the shop. There was a man sitting at a desk at the far side of the shop, and Layla made her way there.

"Do you know a Price?" she asked politely. The man grinned as he looked her up and down before answering.

"Yeah, I'm his business partner. He's pursuing a business endeavor, so if you've got something for him, I'm accepting on his behalf."

That set off warning bells in Layla's head. She almost turned tail and walked away, but she figured she might as well try the pass code.

"I'm looking for betting advice…"

The man gave her an irritated look. "What? Do you have anything for me or not?"

"That's not the pass code," Layla said. It took her jangled mind a few second to realize she'd said that last part out loud. The man at the desk didn't look happy.

"What? That little weasel didn't say anything about a pass code." He looked furious, then glared in the Courier's direction. "You're under arrest."

Layla's mouth dropped open. The change that came over him was shocking, now giving off an aura of menacing authority. He stood, drawing his pistol.

"E-excuse me?" she sputtered. "Who are you?"

"Ranger Keller. I've been undercover for months trying to break up this drug ring. Now drop the box and hand over your weapons."

"Woah, woah, I don't want any trouble!" She handed over the box, which the ranger put down on the desk and opened with one hand, keeping his gun on her. Layla winced at the sight of several doses of Jet and Psycho. Keller gave her a smug look before it shifted back to a stern frown.

"You're under arrest for drug trafficking. Throw down your weapons and put your hands up."

Layla was mortified. "Wait, wait! This is a mistake, I-"

"Shut your mouth and get those hands up!"

"Hold on, you, we-" She looked to Boone for help and found him on the other side of the store, apparently absorbed in a copy of Tales of Chivalry. She glared at him for a moment before turning back.

"Okay, listen!" she said quickly as the man started for her, looking angry. "I'm undercover too! I'm here from McCarran, looking into Contreras. Captain Curtis and Colonel Hsu sent me!"

Keller stopped just as he was about to grab her, giving her a suspicious look.

"Contreras? That's who sent the package?"

"Yes." Layla was suddenly aware of how hard her heart was beating. "He gets most of the components from the Crimson Caravan and makes drops with that Price guy."

"Ah." Keller's face lit up. "That's the evidence we've been looking for against him." The gleeful look on his face diminished to suspicion again as he regarded the girl carefully. "Now, how do I know you're not just tap dancing to keep yourself out of jail"

Layla felt like she was going to be sick. "I-I just was, I wanted to. Helping out with- someone at the base. Find out about drugs?" She was babbling. She bit down hard on her lip, feeling panicky tears well up.

"All right, all right! I believe you!" The ranger shook his head, putting his gun away. "Geez kid, don't ever actually go undercover. You fall apart too easy."

"…So you're not going to arrest me?"

The man groaned. "No."

"Oh, good." The Courier coughed and smoothed her skirt out, horrifically embarrassed. "So, uh, what's going to happen to Contreras?"

"That sleazebag's going to end up in front of a firing squad. There's no tolerance in the military for that kind of thing."

Layla felt sick again. "Wait…" The ranger looked at her curiously while she tried to think. "Why don't you use him? He's in the center of the drug ring. If you've got him as an insider you can get more of the group."

Keller sat on the edge of the desk. His eyebrows furrowed as he thought. "All right, that's not the worst idea. Go tell Contreras he's got two choices: work with us or die."

"I will. I uh- bye!" Layla stammered, retreating for the door of the shop. On the way out, she grabbed Boone by the arm and dragged him outside.

Once they were back on Westside's dirty broken streets, she released the sniper, leveling a glare at him.

"Thanks for the help back there!"

"Sorry," he said flatly. "I don't consort with drug traffickers."

Mouth agape, the Courier punched him in the arm. Giving his lack of response, it probably didn't hurt. He merely kept looking at her with a faint grin.

"Give me back those bullets and that rifle. I'm rescinding all gifts I've ever given you. And don't think I'm ever cooking for you again." She turned heel and started in the direction of McCarran, feeling her face turn red with anger and embarrassment.

"What happened back there?" Boone asked. "You don't usually get so worked up…" She turned a darker shade of red.

"I- he was going to arrest me!" She caught her companion shaking his head in her direction. "What?" she demanded.

"Boyd's right, you are a Goody-goody."

*.*.*

"Augh, you're killing me, you know that?" Lt. Boyd said grouchily.

"Keller said with his help, they'd be able to cripple the drug trade in the area…" Layla said, having just explained the ranger's plan to utilize the shifty supply officer to the MP. The soldier had not been happy she couldn't use the evidence to arrest the man, but Contreras had been even less happy when she'd come back to him with the Ranger's offer.

"Oh that's just beautiful, you really are a choir girl, you know that?" Layla tried desperately not to blush as she saw Boone smirk out of the corner of her eye.

"Anyway," she said firmly, "we just wanted to let you know…" She let out a sigh. "This whole thing was a bust. We were supposed to be finding the Frumentarius."

"Oh yeah? Hsu got you on that now?" Boyd asked. Layla nodded. "In that case, you might want to go look into the communications tower. Someone's been sneaking into it at night. It's probably nothing, and I haven't had the time to go stake it out. Of course, if you think it's morally objectionable to go snooping around, maybe you could try just politely asking people if they're the spy…"

"Oh, you can all go to hell."

*.*.*

Layla held back what would have been a loud sigh as she looked toward the communications tower. Stakeouts were boring, and she was beyond restless. Looking Boone's way, she wasn't very surprised to find him in the same position he'd been in before; leaning against a crate and gazing the direction of the tower.

He'd offered to keep lookout, telling her she ought to get some rest, but she'd refused. Why she never took him up on his generous offers to keep watch was beyond her. The crates surrounding them gave a good view of the tower's door while obscuring them from most of the large open space. All of it was painfully boring.

Drawing in a deep breath, the Courier could feel fatigue pulling at her. It'd been a very long and fairly unpleasant day. That coupled with her still healing body and she knew she was overdoing it by staying up. That wasn't enough to get her to leave Boone to the stakeout alone, though.

She knew why. Well, there were a couple reasons; she'd feel bad if she didn't stay up with him, and catching a Frumentarius at their own game was way too good an opportunity to pass up. The final reason was something she wouldn't admit out loud, but she didn't want to leave the sniper alone to face the Legionary by himself. Boone was capable, way more capable that she. It would take a lot more than a single Legionary to cause him trouble… but there was always that slim chance something could go wrong. Frumentarii were sneaky bastards, after all. Layla's mind wandered to Silus' earlier threats, and the thought of Boone in the Legate's hands turned her stomach.

Shaking away the thought, she hopped up on a crate, sitting on the edge. A moment later, she had to force her eyes open after they'd drooped closed. Sighing, she concluded she needed something to keep herself occupied.

"Boone," she whispered. "Tell me about Bitter Springs."

He didn't look as shocked this time, which was probably a good sign. He didn't answer either. She gave him a few moments, then spoke up.

"I've heard a little of it; a bunch of Great Khans got killed… not all of them hostiles."

He sagged against the crate he was leaning on, taking a deep breath.

"There was a… miscommunication."

Layla sat up. She hadn't exactly expected him to answer her. Frowning, she considered his response.

"That must have been one hell of a miscommunication," she said.

"Yeah well, that's how they wrote it up in the report." He said it lightly, but a dark look came over his features. "We went in and did what we were ordered to do. A lot of people got killed, but that's how it goes."

The guarded tone in his voice told her that he still wasn't comfortable talking about this. Though Layla was pretty sure that'd be the case no matter how long she waited.

"Sounds like you've got regrets…"

"You don't go through a tour of duty without regrets…"

Layla gave him a sympathetic look, and he turned away. "Do you think about it a lot?" she asked.

"Yeah… All the time, even when I sleep."

The guarded tone was gone, replaced with the fragile quality that usually accompanied his pained thoughts. The Courier was certain that Bitter Springs was the center of Boone's trouble. Whatever he'd done made him think he deserved punishment. His wife's death had confirmed it in his mind.

Looking at him again, she found him staring at the tower, avoiding her gaze.

"Maybe it would help to go back?" she suggested.

He turned back to her, and she could see his face take on a guarded look she hadn't seen on him since they'd first traveled together. "It won't help, and that's not a memory I want refreshed."

Layla bit back a sigh. She didn't really know if going back would help him, but it sounded better than doing nothing. Just as she was about to speak again, someone crossed her view by the tower.

Pulling her binoculars out, she looked to see who it was. Captain Curtis peered around before sliding his keycard into the door terminal and slipping into the tower.

"What the hell?" Layla whispered. "Why is he here?"

"Don't know," Boone whispered back, looking through his scope. Layla frowned, thinking.

"He must have gotten the same tip from Boyd. I'm going to let him know we're staking the place out already… Stay here incase our saboteur shows up." Her companion nodded, and she took off, walking quickly toward the tower, cursing herself for the fifth time this evening for not changing into the 'sneaking suit' she'd found in the Sierra Madre. These heels were killing her.

Opening the door to the control tower, Layla heard voices. Maybe the captain had caught the spy, though how they got past her and Boone was a mystery. She was starting to get a bad feeling about this and kept quiet as she crept up the stairs of the tower to the main room.

"…Tomorrow at 0600 a patrol will be near the Rock Crushing Plant, patrolling for fiends. Make sure mines are set around it," said one voice.

"Understood," came the reply, sounding like it was coming from a radio. "Is your mission almost complete?"

"Yes. I've had to accelerate it. The Courier is here and looking into the intelligence leak. I'm running out of time."

Layla managed to quietly slap a hand over her own mouth. Curtis was giving the report. It took her reeling mind a moment to come to the only logical conclusion: the Captain was the Frumentarius. Creeping closer into the room, she kept listening, wanting to hear more about his mission.

"… The bomb is already on the monorail. It's set to explode in a few minutes."

Layla stood abruptly, losing her footing and nearly falling back down the stairs. Curtis turned and spotted her. They stared at each other for a moment before both started moving. The Courier turned and ran back down the stairs as the Frumentarius took off in a run to catch her.

By the time she'd gotten to the main floor, the Legionary had caught up to her. She reached for the door controls as his hands closed on her arms. The captain dragged her away from the door as she struggled, turning her around to face him.

"The Legate will be pleased. My mission is complete, and I've got you as a bonus," he said with a grin. Layla knew if she started screaming her head off Boone would hear, but then he'd come charging in and have to deal with a hostage situation. By the time it all got sorted out, the monorail would probably be destroyed. By the way the man was grinning triumphantly, he must have been thinking the same.

Figuring she really didn't have time for this, she opted to knee the Frumentarius as hard as she could in the groin. He clearly hadn't been expecting that and crumbled to the ground. Layla didn't give him another thought as she ran for the door. Soon she was outside, kicking her heels off and running barefooted toward the main building.

"What is it?" she heard Boone call as she passed him.

"No time! Monorail's gonna blow!" Still pumping her legs as fast as she could, the girl heard Boone's thundering footsteps catching up to her just as she reached the door.

Inside the terminal building, the Courier stopped trying to avoid people, opting to barrel through them instead. For the most part, the soldiers got out of her way. She ended up knocking Hornsby on his ass as she made it to the door of the monorail station. If they lived, hopefully he'd forgive her.

The train was still at the station, but she was sure she'd heard the departure warning already sound. Leaping on to the car, she started searching frantically. Boone joined her seconds later. Panic started to build as she looked from row to row of seats, finding nothing.

"There!" the sniper shouted, pointing to an air vent. Reaching it first, Layla could barely make out a faint light as she ripped off the cover. An explosive charge stared her in the face, it's blinking red light glaring at her. It was at that moment she realized she had no tools with her and had no idea how to defuse a bomb. She could barely handle dynamite.

"Fuck." Looking at the device, she figured she'd pull the power supply and pray it didn't have a kill switch rigged to it. After searching for a moment, her not-so limited grasp of wiring told her the wire to the power was in her fingers, and she took a deep breath.

"If this kills us, I'm sorry," she said to Boone.

"Do it," he replied, and she pulled the wire. The red light faded out, and they both stared at the package, neither moving. After a few more moments, Layla started breathing again.

Turning, she found Boone and about ten soldiers staring at her. Standing with as much dignity a she could muster, she addressed the closest trooper.

"Could someone who actually knows how to defuse a bomb please take a look at this?" She then promptly fainted.

*.*.*

"… She was bedridden for a few days. This is the first time we've left home since she's been on her feet. It was supposed to be an easy trip…" Boone's voice filtered into Layla's ears as the world starting coming back to her.

"Between not sleeping and running the length of the base, plus the stress of disarming the bomb, she just overexerted herself. She'll be fine just as soon as she wakes up." Layla didn't recognize that voice, but he sounded like a doctor.

"Dealing with the centurion and finding out about the bounty probably didn't help either…" That was definitely Colonel Hsu. The Courier sat up with a mild groan and found all three men turning her way.

"The bomb didn't go off, right?" she asked as the doctor moved to check her.

"No, and we have you to thank for that…" Hsu said with a tight grin. "Curtis had been in the NCR for years, long before the campaign against the Legion even started. No one ever suspected him, and we would never have caught his plan."

"I wouldn't have either if it hadn't been for Boyd's tip," Layla said as the doctor checked her blood pressure. "Did you catch him?"

The Colonel frowned. "No. He must have gotten away while you were defusing the bomb." As the doctor stepped away with a nod, she found Hsu giving her a serious look. "You've done us an immense favor. Losing the monorail would have made this base nearly obsolete." A grin came across his face. "I wish all the NCR's citizens were as 'upstanding' as you."

"I just got lucky," she said, blushing.

"All right Colonel," the doctor said, "she needs some rest." He then turned and leveled a finger at Layla. "You're not going anywhere until you get some sleep."

"Okay, okay," the girl relented, and the doctor nodded, leaving her and Boone alone. Looking over to the sniper, she found him giving her a concerned look.

"You okay?" he asked. The Courier nodded. Stretching, she winced at a sharp pain in her shoulder, the one that'd been pierced at the Sierra Madre.

"Ow!" She rubbed it. "Where did that come from?"

"You hit one of the seats before I could catch you…"

"Ah, well, at least I didn't hit my head." She laughed as a thought came to mind. "You're not going to tell Arcade about this, are you?"

"No." He walked over, sitting next to her on the bed. It was an unusual gesture for him, but Layla held her tongue. He looked like he was struggling to say something.

"I've been thinking…" He looked up, and Layla gave him an encouraging smile. "I think I do want to go back to Bitter Springs."

"What changed your mind?" He shrugged, staring at his hands.

"Nothing. Dream. Sick of thinking about it." He looked at her for a moment, then turned his gaze toward the tent's cloth walls. "Once this war is over, maybe we could go back…"

Layla nodded. She'd hoped he'd make this choice. "Good, we'll head out tomorrow." She frowned at the look Boone gave her.

"You're supposed to rest, and I told Arcade we wouldn't leave the base."

"I'll be fine in the morning, we already left it once, and since when did you and Arcade agree on anything?"

"Recently."

"Well I don't know if I like that. And we're going tomorrow."

"It can wait a couple days."

"For what?"

"You just passed out from running across a base full of friendly soldiers. It's miles to Bitter Springs, and the road is crawling with cazadores."

"Ah." The Courier slumped a little. "Cazadores. Okay, you win; we'll stick around here for a day or two, then we go."

Boone sighed heavily. "Fine… I don't even know why we're going. I don't know what I'm going to find."

Layla smiled softly at him, hand moving to rub his back without thinking. She gave him a last pat before giving him a push.

"Get out of here, I need my beauty sleep."


	3. 705

"You owe me a trip to the lake after this…" Layla grumbled. She stood on a ridge, looking at Lake Mead and the rising sun's rays glistening on its surface.

"We could go now…" Boone replied. Months earlier, he would have been annoyed with the Courier's insistence on stopping to swim in Mead or the smaller Lake Las Vegas every time they went near either. Both lakes were crawling with Lakelurks, and raiders had the uncanny habit of wandering by whenever Layla set foot in the water.

Eventually his annoyance had faded, especially since Layla had a habit of bribing him with food whenever they'd stop. He'd started enjoying the trips.

"Nah, let's keep going…" She gave the lake one last look and hopped back down to the path. The girl had been quiet for a lot of the trip, distracted. Boone had seen her in this mood before. It usually meant she wasn't paying attention to anything, including potential dangers. The sniper was grateful for that for once. The extra attention he had to give his surroundings was a good distraction.

"So…" the Courier said after a few minutes of walking in silence. "I guess I'm going to have to give that chip over to House soon. I'm surprised he hasn't had the Securitrons come swarming in to take it."

"Probably doesn't know you have it."

"True. Well, I guess when we get back I'll let him have it."

"Are you expecting trouble?" Boone had noticed the Courier's recent reluctance to speak with their employer.

"Nah. Well, I guess I think they'll be trouble sooner or later." She sighed, "I guess we'll cross that bridge when we…" The girl trailed off. "Oh Crap!"

He spun and found four cazadores zooming their way. Cursing his lack of auto-rifle, he leveled his old hunting rifle at the nearest mutated wasp. Taking it down, he heard Layla's shotgun fire in the other direction. Hazarding a quick look, Boone found two more of the creatures bearing down on them from behind.

Hoping Layla could take the two at his back, Boone turned back to the three in front of him. Just as he dropped one, another reached him. Barely dodging the stinger it thrust out at him, the sniper swung his machete down on the creature, taking one side of its wings off.

Hearing the Courier quickly reloading her gun, he figured she was still okay and stomped on the downed bug in front of him. The last of his cazadores was huge, clearly full grown. It buzzed angrily at him, stinger aiming for his torso. Boone jumped out of the way, hoping to catch its wings like the last, but the creature dodged him. Before he could right himself, it swung its stinger out again, catching him in the chest.

He made a strangled grunt from the searing pain. He could already feel the poison burning into his blood stream. Knowing his strength would fade in moments, he swung his blade at the thing. It moved out of the way and stung him again, this time in the stomach. The sniper was vaguely aware of Layla moving to his side, blasting the creature with her shotgun as the strength leave his legs and he crumbled to the ground.

Layla filled his darkening vision with a panicked look on her face. He tried to say something, but his mouth wouldn't work. He thought he heard her say something about anti-venom, then the world went black.

*.*.*

He hadn't slept in days, hadn't eaten, barely drank. None of it mattered as Boone lay prone at the Sniper's Nest near Cottonwood Cove, looking through the scope of his rifle. He'd found his wife and the impossible situation she was in.

And now he had set his sights on her, waiting for his courage to muster up to do what he had to do. He'd never reach her if he took them head-on. He'd just end up dead, and she'd still be in their filthy hands. All he had was the distance between them and his rifle. Choking back a sob, he wrapped his finger around the trigger. But when he pulled, he saw Layla in the scope…

Boone found himself sitting up on a dingy mattress in a shack he didn't recognize. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but his chest was bandaged in a few places. Searching frantically, he saw Layla coming his way, worry on her face and his ripped up shirt in her hands.

"Are you okay?" She knelt next to him, rubbing his shoulder gently. Her touch soothed him, and the hold his dreams had on him lessened. He looked at her, and some of the residual pain from the nightmare must have shown on his face. She pulled him into a hug. The last traces of his clinging nightmare faded, and he found himself leaning into the girl's arms.

Boone suddenly felt a spark of understanding he hadn't had before as he pulled back to look at the Courier. He knew her feelings, and he'd known something had been building in his own mind. It wasn't until now that he'd even admitted them to himself, however. She was searching his face for an answer he didn't have yet. Then she suddenly released him, backing up.

"I… uh well, anyway," Layla stuttered, getting up and walking back to the table where she'd been working. Boone didn't know how to feel as she retreated. His mind swirled in confusion for a few moments before Layla spoke up again.

"You had a pretty close call, but the poison's long gone now. You'll probably feel a little weak, but you'll be okay in a bit." She gave him a grin. "You're really freaking heavy, you know that? I had to drag your carcass all the way here."

"…Thanks."

She waved off his gratitude with an amused smile. Boone slowly stood, deciding to test his legs. He wobbled on the first step. Layla suddenly appeared at his side, taking his arm to steady him.

"I believe I mentioned 'a little weak,'" she said teasingly, guiding him to a chair by the table. As he sat down, Layla went over to her pack on the ground. "Hungry?"

"Yeah." Boone's stomach growled in agreement as he decided to ignore his confused thought and focus on his aching body. A moment later, the Courier placed a lunchbox in front of him. He tried to keep from frowning; the lunch box usually meant pre-war food, which usually meant Cram. He glanced Layla's way and found her sitting back at the table, picking up her sewing equipment again, not looking at him.

He sighed and opened the box, then grinned as he found it contained trail mix and iguana on a stick. Looking at the girl again, he found her markedly not looking at him, instead threading a needle with a small grin.

As he started eating, Layla finally looked back his way. "I've been thinking about new ways to betray you…" He looked up, waiting for her to continue.

"I think I'd slip a live grenade in your pocket," she said as she continued sewing Boone's torn shirt. She normally kept an extra supply of t-shirts in her pack for when the sniper would inevitably get his ripped up, but she'd run out. Suddenly she looked up.

"Oh! No, I'd stick C4 in your pocket. Then wait for the most ironic or comical moment to blow you up." She sounded satisfied as she continued stitching. "How about you?"

Boone looked up again from his food, thinking. Layla always came up with elaborate and usually comical betrayals. His, however, were usually more straight-forward.

"Next time we're by the lake, I'll let the lakelurks get you." He saw the Courier look up at him, eyes narrowed.

"Har har, I'm gonna stitch a big pink heart in your shirt now. Then, when the raiders are all confused and in love with you, blam! Detonate the C4."

*.*.*

The Courier was snoring lightly from the mattress on the floor. The girl could sleep anywhere at anytime instantly, no matter how uncomfortable the mattress or what time of day it was. As long as she felt safe, and Boone noticed that usually meant checking that he was there, she'd be out in seconds. She'd requested a quick nap before they reached Bitter Springs, still not up to full strength. Not that she needed an excuse; he wouldn't deny her either way.

Leaning back on the wall of the shack, Boone's mind wandered toward their destination. He'd been purposefully ignoring his thoughts on the subject since asking Layla to go with him to Bitter Springs. Anytime he thought about it, his mind would swirl with confusion and worry, mingled with the normal guilt and horror.

His nightmare came back to him suddenly, and he finally allowed himself to think about it. He knew what it meant. He'd been careless and stupid. When his wife had been taken from him, he'd realized he would never live a normal life again. It had confirmed what he'd hoped hadn't been true: He'd have no friends, no lovers and no good times, just a slow, lonely march to his end.

Layla hadn't known what she'd done when she convinced Boone to go with her. She certainly didn't realize the danger of befriending him and getting past the walls he'd set around his heart and mind. It hadn't taken the girl much effort to do so, and Boone guiltily realized it was because he'd allowed it. She and her companions had accepted him and drawn him in, and he hadn't resisted because he'd been weak and achingly lonely. He had foolishly let his starved heart win, and he would have to live with the consequences; Layla would be taken away just as Carla had. His new friends would abandon him when he needed them most, like Manny had.

He had killed his wife before he'd ever shot her. By loving her, he'd doomed her. Yet she'd only been dead a little over a year, and he was already thinking about moving on, ruining another innocent life. The guilt that had resurfaced was joined by another layer, and he felt like he was betraying Carla by even considering it.

The thought of Carla sent a fresh wave of pain through him, stronger than it had been in a long time. He'd been too distracted lately, had almost forgotten about his punishment. He knew why: he didn't want it anymore. He had been content with it months earlier, when there was nothing left in this world for him. Now he didn't want to die, he wanted to help the NCR push back the Legion, he wanted to be with his friends, and he wanted to see if he could make things work with Layla.

But nothing he wanted would change how things would go. His weakness would only cause more pain to others, to the people he cared about. He deserved what was-

Boone started when he suddenly realized Layla was shaking him, clinging to his arms with a scared look on her face.

"Boone? Boone!" When he looked at her, she let go of him. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" Concern was written all over her face, concern he didn't deserve.

"Hey!" she shouted. "Snap out of it!" His mind began to clear. He hadn't realized how out of it he had gotten. He watched as Layla stood and went to her pack, digging for a moment before she produced a bottle of water.

She sat next to him against the wall and handed him the bottle. He took it, grateful and ashamed as his mind kept swirling in confusion.

"Boone…" Her voice sounded soft. "Do you think I deserved to get shot in the head?"

"No." Neither of them had even known the other existed when Benny had nearly killed her. The girl only helped people, making the Mojave better by just being in it. She didn't deserve any of the cruel things life had done to her.

"Then why is Karma after you? And after all the good you've done, why is it you're being punished?"

"A murderer who does good deeds is still a murderer," he said. She didn't know what he'd done. Nothing could make up for it.

Layla was looking at him, trying to read his mind again. She sighed after a moment. "Let's get going."

Boone nodded. This would be for the best. She'd understand once they got to Bitter Springs. Then, once it was all out in the open, maybe she'd see the sense in his warnings and go on without him. She and the others would be safe. It was for the best, even if the thought of being left alone again brought a scrabbling sense of panic that mixed with the crushing ache in his chest.

*.*.*

The Legion had suffered much in the last few weeks. Caesar's death had been a blow that many felt they couldn't recover from, but Legate Lanius had rallied them, in his own way. After three days of mourning their beloved leader's death, the Legate ordered anyone voicing unease towards the Legion's future to be burned at the stake. And so his leadership began.

Vulpes Inculta ruminated on this as he gazed at the Colorado River from their temporary position at the abandoned Camp Guardian. The Legate had not been pleased when he'd shown up at his camp with news of the attack that killed Caesar. Vulpes was quite sure he would have been put to a slow death for 'abandoning' their leader had it not been Caesar's orders that had sent him away.

Vulpes knew why Caesar had ordered him away from the fight. It was a trait the man had that would be missed: he planned for contingencies. At the time of the fight at Fortification Hill, Caesar had been confident they'd put the profligates down. However, he knew the Courier had a way of succeeding against the odds. If that were to happen, he'd told Vulpes to let the Legate know. Beyond that, the Frumentarius knew a great deal about the Courier and her followers, and if the woman managed to assassinate the leader of the Legion in his base, she was a dire threat to any who opposed her.

So, despite Lanius' displeasure with both he and all the Frumentarii, a displeasure that had accumulated long before Caesar's death, he stayed his hand in executing Vulpes. The Legion now had standing orders to bring the girl directly to the Legate, should the opportunity arise. The Courier was a symbol, a rallying point for the profligates. If they were able to capture her, the psychological blow to the NCR would be dire.

Vulpes had been tracking the girl for quite some time, both directly and through his agents, but she was usually very well guarded. Between the securitrons on the Strip, the NCR soldiers she often associated with or the imposing companions she had gathered, taking her directly would be a massive undertaking. So instead, Vulpes waited for his opportunity.

It was dark by the time a commotion came from the camp. Vulpes went to discover the cause and found a face he hadn't seen in quite some time. A man dressed as an NCR captain was struggling between three recruits, who held him still. Blood Moon stood by, gladius poised to strike.

"Frumentarius Picus," Vulpes said calmly to the man, who seemed relieved to see him. The Legionary did notice his superior hadn't called off the soldiers holding him, however. "Why are you here?"

"My mission has failed. I was discovered, and the monorail bomb was defused," the man answered. Vulpes sighed, walking toward him slowly.

"You failed…"

Picus continued, sounding a little panicked. "It was the Courier." That caught Vulpes' attention. The girl had been unaccounted for in the last few weeks, since not long after Caesar's death. She would occasionally disappear from his gaze in the past, but never for as long as she had this time.

"And I know where she's going next." Picus found his superior calmly waiting for him to continue. "She and the 1st Recon sniper are going to Bitter Springs, alone."

Vulpes allowed himself a tight smile, letting this information process. Since Caesar had ordered him to learn of the Courier, he had gone to great lengths to find what he could of her companions. Craig Boone had been the easiest, with a full, easily pilfered file courtesy of the NCR military.

If they were traveling to Bitter Springs, they were no doubt going to resolve his personal issues with the Great Khan massacre. A plan started forming in Vulpes' mind. Blood Moon was looking at him, waiting for orders, and Vulpes nodded, signaling him to continue. The girl would be alone, save a group of helpless refugees, a few overworked soldiers, and her traumatized ally. His smile grew as he vaguely heard Picus' scream. Opportunity had found him.


	4. The Flaming Sword of Liberation

To say Layla was concerned about her companion would be putting it mildly. Boone barely spoke as he led the way toward Bitter Springs. The Courier knew this trip wasn't going to be pleasant, as they were going to the beginning of all the sniper's considerable troubles.

She had a pretty good idea of what had happened at Bitter Springs. She'd spoken with a few people that had been there and others who had dealt with the repercussions. But she had never gotten the real, complete story. 1st Recon had given her an inkling, but even they hadn't gone into detail.

The 'miscommunication' and civilian casualties were the core of the trouble, and she had heard a couple accounts of how the whole thing had come to be. Increased tensions with the Great Khans had led the NCR to track down the tribe, and when they'd found the base, they'd attacked. It wasn't quite that simple, she was certain, and whatever had happened, it had deeply scarred Boone.

Layla was almost positive she was the only one he'd ever talked to about Bitter Springs, and that scared and elated her at the same time. There was no denying her interest in him, but she knew he was too mixed up now to get another layer added on to his thoughts. She could bide her time, but even if they were never more than friends, she'd still be there for him.

She'd almost caved in at the shack. When she'd woken him from his nightmare, he looked so vulnerable, and it cut through her resolve. She'd wanted to help him forget his trouble, even for just a little while. In the end she had been strong, knowing that running from what had happened was what had gotten him this messed up to begin with.

So she tucked the small, yearning voice in her heart away and kept trudging along. Her needs were something she had an easy time ignoring when there were others to consider, and Boone needed her to help him, not add to his confusion. The silence between them was heavy, and judging by his behavior at the shack, the sniper's mind had been plagued with his troubles more than usual.

Her concerns had gotten worse in the last few hours. Her companion had grown more and more despondent as they'd traveled. She was beginning to understand his thought process; he'd done something he thought unforgivable at Bitter Springs, and so his wife was taken away. To him, Carla's kidnapping and death were proof that the world was after him now.

"Boone…" She actually hadn't planned to speak, but her treacherous mouth moved without warning. She figured she might as well continue. "I… know you think the bad things that have happened to you are cause and effect, but sometimes bad things happen. It isn't karma. It's just bad luck." The sniper stopped in his tracks, and Layla nearly knocked into him. They stood there for a moment as silence crashed over them. Boone finally turned her way, but didn't meet her eyes.

"The casinos say that to get people to buy in again," he finally answered. "If people knew there's something always watching, waiting to take it all away again. And it never loses." He looked her in the eyes for the first time since they'd left the shack.

"That's what it's doing, waiting for me to buy in again."

A dawning horror clutched at the Courier's chest as he spoke. She knew he thought what had happened to his wife was part of the punishment he thought he had coming. She hadn't realized that he was afraid his 'curse' would affect her as well.

His eyes were distant and pained, and Layla reached out, putting her hand on his arm. He flinched, then pulled away from her, face hardening. She bit her lip, trying not to let the hurt feeling surface on her face. Boone looked guilty as he turned away from her, and she knew she hadn't done a very good job.

They didn't move or talk for a moment, sitting in the awkward silence. Layla shook away the confused, hurt feeling. Boone was in the middle of a breakdown, and she was acting like an idiot. She was going to have to be strong for both of them right now as he tried to sort out all the trauma that plagued him.

Resolve in place, she moved toward the sniper.

"Come on, let's keep moving," she said softly, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze as she walked by him. "Let's try to get there before dark."

Boone fell into step behind her. Layla led them the rest of the way, checking her Pip-Boy for directions. The canyon rock was red now. It would be gorgeous in a few moments when the sun set. Peeking behind her, she found Boone staring at the area with a unreadable look on his face.

They reached the camp, and the Courier surveyed the area. It had clearly been a Great Khan base once, the colorful tents set up within the canyon had their graffiti, even as most of it was covered with NCR posters now. There were people milling around. Many of them seemed to be sporting injuries. The canyon was highly defensible, but easy to overwhelm at the same time. Shaking her head, she looked at Boone again. His face was blank.

For a moment she wished Arcade was with them. She knew how to stitch wounds and amputate legs, but he had a working knowledge of psychology along with his far more impressive surgical abilities. It wasn't until the last leg of their journey that Layla started worrying that she might make a misstep that would cause Boone more emotional damage. She was guessing at all of this, after all.

Shaking off the thought, she turned to face her sniper directly. He probably wouldn't want to talk to Arcade about this anyway. Nope, Boone was stuck with her. Which meant she was going to have figure it out as she went.

The sniper was still looking around. He noticed her looking his way and sighed.

"Let's go find the ridge."

Nodding, not entirely sure what that meant, Layla followed his lead. They moved past the tents the NCR soldiers had set up to a small offshoot of the rock. The area it lead to was like a stone corridor. The Courier barely had time to notice the graves that lined either wall when she heard Boone speak up.

"Christ, they set up the graveyard here."

As Layla caught up to him, he looked like he was struggling to breath. She wasn't sure of what to do. Boone seemed to suddenly notice her, and a pained but recognizable expression came over his face. He kept walking without a word, and the Courier trailed behind, feeling her worry continue to mount.

Soon they stood on a small ridge, looking over the side, Layla could see the tactical advantage of the spot: it had a perfect view of the grave-lined path they'd just walked from. If anyone came through the canyon from this direction, a group of snipers could easily pick them off.

"They marked this as canyon 37," Boone explained. "We were supposed to clean up any combatants that came this way when the main force charged the camp. Orders were to shoot on sight." Layla looked over to her companion. He continued before she could say anything. "The Khans had hit a settlement, and we'd followed the raiding party here. Whoever they'd hit must have been important, 'cause we sent everything we had. When we got here, we'd thought it was a raiding camp, not their home." He looked over the ridge again. "The main force got spotted early. Next thing you know Khans came pouring out."

His voice became brittle. "Only they weren't combatants. Elderly, women… children. Eventually the wounded." Looking away from her sympathetic face, he continued. "We radioed to confirm orders, but command didn't understand what we were seeing. They told us to shoot until we ran out of ammo… so we did."

Layla's gift with words had certainly picked a terrible time to give out. Boone looked her way, and there was a question in his eyes. The Courier knew he was torn between wanting rejection and absolution, and part of him probably thought she'd tell him he wasn't welcome at the Lucky 38 anymore and leave.

She had to reassure him that wasn't the case, but she gave herself a moment to think about what he'd said, what he'd done.

"You were following orders, doing what you were supposed to as a soldier," she finally said. It didn't feel like enough to say, but in the past few months she'd gotten a better understanding of how war could make monsters out of good people. Boone's face wasn't any less troubled as he answered her.

"Yeah, well now that I'm not a soldier, that doesn't really seem like a good excuse." She didn't have anything to say to that, and he sighed. "I'd like to stay here the night…" There was a vulnerable expression on his face again. "If that's okay. I want to think about some things."

"Sure," Layla said, watching her companion. He looked along the ridge, and she got the feeling he was avoiding eye contact with her.

"Hungry?" she tried. Boone shook his head. Layla understood, she wasn't either. She was tired, however, and sat down on the ridge.

"Get some rest…" Boone said quietly. "I'll be up."

"If you need anything, wake me up," she said, looking back to see him nod. She set her pack down against a jutting piece of rock, and rested her head against it, letting her eyes close.

*.*.*

"Layla."

The Courier felt a hand on her shoulder, giving her a gentle shake.

"Wake up."

"Hunh?" She turned her bleary eyes towards the source of the shaking and found Boone crouched over her. It took a few moments for her to realize where she was. Once that sunk in, she looked around, finding it was still night.

"What is it?" she asked, sitting up quickly. Boone never woke her up on his watch. If something threatening came along, he usually just dealt with it without bothering her. Depending on the caliber of the rifle he was shooting, she'd wake up to the sound of a gunshot, then fall immediately back to sleep. He'd even moved her once while she'd slept, stealthily keeping them both out of the way of a pack of deathclaws that had wandered by their camp.

Now she found him looking tense as he scanned the area. "There's a Legion raiding party coming," he said. It's big. Might even be too big for us."

His tone was strange, but Layla couldn't help but laugh. "Maybe too big for me. You're the one who shot up their base, remember?" She levered herself to her feet and peered in the direction he was looking, taking the binoculars he handed her. There were a ton of enemy soldiers coming up the hill toward the camp. The prior mirth was gone and she grimaced.

"If you want to get out of here, I don't blame you. I'm staying to fight." Boone noticed her staring at him with an incredulous look.

"You don't sound surprised they're here," she said.

"I'm not." He looked at the group of Legionaries coming their way. "When you showed up in Novac, I knew I was supposed to go with you. That it was time to end all this. Now I know."

Layla's eye widened, he wasn't looking at her, eyes still focused on the soldiers. She grabbed his shirt sleeve and gave it a jerk, pulling him to her. The sniper looked at her, startled.

"If you die here, all these refugees are going to be enslaved and the soldiers killed. They'll get me too. I'm not looking to be some Legionary's pet, so you'd better be Goddamned sure you're fighting to win." It was a dirty shot, but she was fighting to win too.

Boone stared at her for a moment, amazed. "I-I'm…" He blinked, then shook his head like he was trying to clear his mind. "I'm not going to throw the fight."

"Good." Layla's tone softened. "Let's go."

*.*.*

The first wave hadn't been too much trouble. Boone had climbed up to the top of one of hallowed out buses and sniped the Legionaries as Layla cleaned up any that got through with her shotgun.

"What's going on?" she called up to the sniper once things got quiet.

"More coming," he said, climbing down from the bus. "Some are going up the other way."

"Let's head them off," she said. Boone nodded, and they started toward Coyote Tail Ridge. Before they reached the ridge, they heard a shout.

"Please, someone help!"

Looking back, Layla saw a large man with a scar down his face waving frantically.

"She's wounded, please someone help!"

"Go help them," said Boone, seeing her worried look. "I'll take this group." Layla turned to him, a question in her eyes. "I'm fighting to win," he answered.

She frowned, but relented. "I'll come find you as soon as I finish here."

Nodding, he continued toward the ridge. Layla watched him go for a moment before turning back to the refugee.

"Please hurry, she's bleeding!" The man was panicking. Layla nodded to him.

"Let's go."

She followed the man down the path to the line of trailers at the entrance to the camp. There was a woman lying on the ground with a few other refugees gathered around her.

"Okay, back up, let me take a…" As she got closer, it became apparent the woman was dead. That wasn't too surprising, except she'd clearly been dead for more than a few minutes. Hearing shuffling feet behind her, The Courier then noticed the man who'd led her pulling a curved knife from his belt.

Not giving herself time to think, she leapt away from him, diving between an outcropping of rock and a trailer. The 'refugees' scattered, all drawing weapons. Pressing herself against the rock, she quickly checked her shotgun as she took a quick peek out to the group.

She was almost certain she'd seen the man who'd led her to this ambush in camp the day before. The long scar down his face was quite distinctive. Which meant this was a well laid-out plan. Which meant the group facing her were probably a pack of Frumentarii. Any thought she'd been harboring that this was a Legionary trap were confirmed the moment she saw Vulpes Inculta emerge from one of the trailers.

"Shit." She ducked down again, biting her lip. This was bad enough without him here.

"You're surrounded, and your sniper is walking into a trap. If you surrender, we'll leave the rest of these profligates alive."

_Bullshit. _They hadn't made a move yet. She was in a very good position to fend off any that approached her. However, if she emerged from the corner she'd backed into, they could easily overwhelm her. So they were in a stalemate.

"How are you, Vulpes? I haven't seen you since Caesar's going away party." She didn't think she could goad the head of the Frumentarii to rush stupidly to his shotgun-based death, but with any luck, some of his underlings might be idiots.

"The… setbacks you've caused the Legion will only strengthen us further once we have you and the sniper," Vulpes answered.

"Yeah, about that: two millions caps?" she continued. "I'm flattered. I didn't even do anything. Unless you guys really wanted Benny on a cross."

"Merely a gesture," he said. "It will further indicate that when the Legion wants someone, they will have them."

"Honestly, I'm surprised Lainus still lets you out after you abandoned Caesar to his death and all."

"Your bravado can't hide your fear. Spirited women aren't very welcome in the Legion… but I think the Legate would find you a suitable wife."

Layla grimaced. "Oh… That's creepy." He was throwing her own tactics back at her, trying to get her to do something stupid by freaking her out. "I was told I'm too inferior to be a good wife anyway."

"I think the Legate would enjoy having a willful slave to break. He's also very interested in your sniper. The death he's looking for will not come soon enough while he's in Lanius' care."

The Courier ground her teeth as the Frumentarius' words hit home. She was not going to allow Boone's predictions of his fate to come true. She took a deep breath, finally figuring out a plan.

Fishing through her backpack, she carefully adhered a pack of C4 to the wall of the trailer and armed it. Tucking the detonator in one hand, she dug a grenade out of her pocket with the other, pulled the pin out with her teeth, and tossed it in Vulpes' direction. There were a few shouts as the explosive sailed towards the Legionaries, and Layla seized the opportunity to scrabble up to the top of the ridge while it detonated.

Dropping down on the other side, she was relieved to find no Legionaries waiting for her. Starting for the main area of the camp where she'd last seen Boone, she turned back long enough to detonate the C4. If it hit no one, it'd still cover her escape. If it hit a couple of them, fantastic. If it killed Vulpes, she'd have a party later.

Layla ran as fast she could. Her little trick wouldn't keep the Legionaries at bay for long. She had to get to Boone before it was too late. He had been too distracted by the trauma he'd endured at the camp, and she knew he wouldn't be fighting at his peak.

Just as she reached the officer's area of the camp, she caught sight of him. He was barely visible in the middle of a mass of Legionaries. One had just punched him in the stomach as two others were pulling his arms behind his back. Just as a fourth Legionary was starting to work a length of rope around his wrists, the sniper roared and lunged forward, breaking free from the men holding his arms. He threw a punch into the face of the man who'd hit him, rope still hanging from his wrist.

The Legionaries charged him again, one leaping forward and grabbing Boone around the waist. The sniper managed to keep to his feet until another Legionary slammed his arm into the man's chest, taking him down with the combined effort. Layla lost sight of her companion as the Legion soldiers swarmed on him, but heard him cry out in pain.

A thick, red haze of fury descended on the Courier. She moved automatically, reaching the group and slamming the butt of her shotgun into the face of closest Legionary. The man went down without a word, and she stuck the barrel of the gun into the next one's stomach, pulling the trigger.

The rest of the group noticed her at this point, and she happily fired into the faces of the two that turned her way first. One managed to throw a punch in her direction, but she didn't notice if it made contact as she shot the soldier's head off his shoulders.

The one remaining Legionary pulled a gun from his hip. Layla's shot tore multiple holes through his forehead before he got a chance to aim. Just as he hit the ground, the Legionary she'd knocked out began to stir, and she shot him in the back of the head before he could stand.

The red haze began to clear as she stopped to reload, looking around for any further threats. Seeing no one nearby, she finally turned to where Boone lay on the ground. Bruises were starting to form all over, and his arms were tied behind his back. He looked like he was barely conscious.

"Boone?"

He looked at her, his eyes hazy. Kneeling down, she quickly dug her knife from her pocket and cut the ropes from his wrists. Just as she started digging for her stimpaks, she looked up and found more Legionaries coming their way.

"Crap." She quickly injected two stims into him and helped him up, then turned to face the oncoming group. Vulpes must have figured out what was going on, though she didn't find him among the approaching soldiers. They continued advancing up the hill, but were still far out of range. It took her a moment to notice that Boone wasn't already picking them off.

She looked to find him just staring at the oncoming hoard, dazed.

"Boone?"

He didn't respond. Layla moved closer, reaching out to him, when a throwing spear landed inches from her leg. The Legionaries were almost on top of them, and the sniper still looked comatose.

"_BOONE!" _

* * *

><p>I hope you've been enjoying the ride. I was a little afraid I'd scared off all my readers with the last chapter :s Saturday will be the final chapter of 'I Sustain the Wings', then we'll be moving on to the very lighthearted "Boomtown."<em><br>_


	5. After Tonight

It was wrong. This was wrong. Layla wasn't supposed to be here. This was his end, not hers. The Legionaries had him, though he'd fought with all his might. He couldn't stop them, and his punishment had finally come.

Now he was on his feet, and Layla was here. He didn't remember standing up.

"_BOONE_!"

The sniper heard The Courier's panicked cry. It shook him out of the shocked stupor he'd been in. He found there were several Legionaries advancing on them. Before he could think, Layla grabbed his arm, pulling him back until he was against the rock wall of the canyon. She stepped in front of him, shotgun pointed in the direction of the oncoming group.

"Good luck getting us alive, assholes!" she cried, unloading a round into the first man who came within range. He went down as his stomach was ripped apart.

The confused haze still permeated Boone's head, but a thought stuck out. Five shots. Layla's shotgun had five shots, and she'd have to reload. Then the swarm of Legionaries would be on them.

Another shot fired, and he flinched at the sound of it. Three more until the assholes would have them both. The captured centurion's threats to Layla came back to him: _begging for death at the end of a leash_. He'd be slowly tortured to death, but that didn't matter. He deserved it.

Another shotgun blast took two Legionaries. Two more shots. Layla didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve their filthy hands on her. She didn't deserve it even if she had foolishly reached out to him. Carla hadn't deserved what had happened to her, even if she'd foolishly loved him. His baby hadn't even had a chance to know their father loved them; the little boy with his father's eyes or the sweet girl with her mother's smile he'd seen in his mind couldn't have done anything to deserve not even getting a chance. He'd done what he could for his wife and baby, but now he watched, doing nothing as Layla shot her second-to-last round. The Courier backed up, almost pressing into him as the group of incoming Legionaries were nearly upon them.

_No_. He wasn't going to let them have her. He wasn't going to let them have him. He wouldn't wait for fate to be finished with him. Layla fired her final shot into the crowd, taking an impressive three men down with the spray of the single round. Realizing she was out of ammo, the next Legionary reached out for her with a triumphant grin.

Boone saw Carla's excited, nervous smile when she'd agreed to marry him. The sniper swung down with his machete on the soldier who reached for Layla, cleaving most of his arm off. He planted a boot into the man's stomach and kicked him back.

He saw the little boy who was thrilled his father was teaching him how to use his rifle. He pivoted out of way of another attacking Legionary and swung his machete. The man's skull caved in from the force of the blow.

Boone saw his baby girl telling her daddy to stop scaring away her dates. There was a pair of hands on his left arm, trying to hold him back. He swung the machete into the man's throat. Blood spurted onto him as the Legionary staggered and fell.

The sniper saw Layla with fire in her eyes and Legion blood on her armor, stopping to reload her shotgun. Boone Dodged a Vexillarius' oncoming knife and cleaved into his chest.

The Courier moved to his side, tossing him her shotgun. He caught it easily and shot the legs off an approaching Legionary as the girl pulled the chainsaw off her back. The attacking group had lost their smug looks by now, but when the air filled with the sound of the chainsaw coming to life, they looked grim.

Boone and Layla moved at the same time, tearing into the remaining Legion forces.

*.*.*

Boone stood still, breathing heavily. It was finally quiet, he realized. Layla was also gasping for air, looking around to make sure there were no more. She looked his way, a grin worming its way onto her face.

"Boone, I'm a sucker for dramatic timing and all, but that was a little close."

Shame colored his face, and he looked away. A moment later, he felt the girl's hand on his arm and looked back. She was giving him a good-natured smile.

"It's okay, we're still in one piece. Hey, we're not even getting dragged to Lanius." Her smile faded a little as his frown grew.

"We made it…" he said. "Don't know how to feel about that."

Layla gave him a knowing smile. "You underestimated us."

"I guess so." He looked at the bodies surrounding them. "I thought whatever we could handle, they'd send more. It would have made sense for me to die here. But I'm still alive."

"Did you ever think that maybe you're not such a terrible person? Maybe you're a good guy who made a mistake?"

"That 'mistake' was unforgivable."

"Well you're still alive, and you said yourself this would have been the best time to die."

That gave him pause. He'd been so sure he deserved the things that had come to him, he'd never considered any alternatives. Punishment had been the only thing he'd been sure of for so long. Now he didn't know.

"I don't know what to do with any of this," he said finally. Looking up, he found Layla giving him a serious, but not unkind look.

"You made a mistake… a big one that you can't take back. You can learn from it and move on, do good for people, or you can throw yourself off a cliff and be no good to anyone. If you'd gotten yourself on a Legion cross instead of going with me, the people here would be dead. Forlorn Hope would have been wiped out, and they'd be marching on Novac by now." She gave him a slight smile. "I know I'd be dead fifty times or so by now."

He sighed, ignoring the thought of Layla dead. "It feels like I'm living on borrowed time, but I guess you're right." Now he found the Courier giving him half a grin.

"Borrowed time is still time. No sense in wasting it."

Closing his eyes, Boone took off his sunglasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The confusion and guilt in his mind hadn't faded, but it felt like it was easier to think now. He opened his eyes and found Layla watching him.

"I should go help with the injured… Why don't you stay here for a little bit?" she said, and he nodded. Some of the gratitude he felt must have shown on his face, as a small smile formed on hers. It vanished after a moment, and she looked at him carefully.

"Boone… you're not going to throw yourself off a cliff while I'm gone… right?" She said it lightly, like a joke, but they both knew the gravity of what she'd meant.

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

She looked satisfied with his answer.

"Come on, you can rest in one of the medical tents," she said. He looked at her, confused, and she maintained her serious look. "I don't want you getting snatched away while I'm not looking." She grinned, "Raul will be pretty pissed if I have to drag him through another Legion camp to save you."

He gave her an incredulous look, but she didn't back down. But, as the battle had ended and the adrenaline left his system, he was starting to feel his injuries. He nodded and followed her to the line of tents near the command center. She guided him into a small tent, sitting him down on one of the cots and giving him a shot of Med-X and another stimpak.

"I'll be back later," she said it softly, putting a hand on his arm and giving it a squeeze before she left.

Boone stared at the tent flap after Layla left. She'd been the friend he had needed, even if it hadn't exactly suited her. He'd known she was interested in more than a friendship with him, he wasn't blind. Had she pursued him, he knew in his weaker moments he would have taken up the offer, if only to distract himself from all the negative emotion in his head. But she had held back, and he knew it was what he'd needed.

He thought about Carla, and a sob bubbled past his throat. Part of him realized he hadn't ever cried about his wife's death. He had stewed in rage and guilt for so long, he'd never let himself feel grief. It washed over him now, and he lied down on the cot, tears starting to flow.

He cried as he thought about his wife and their baby and the life that had been stolen from him. Before, he'd swallowed his tears and focused on the guilt until his mind had twisted so much he couldn't think of anything. Now, a strange relief came from every sob. It didn't make any of it better, but it was a little easier to bear.

Eventually, he calmed down, his tears slowed to a stop, and a hazy, tired numbness settled over him. Closing his eyes, he quickly dozed off.

*.*.*

The sun had risen by the time he woke, still alone in the tent. Confused thoughts came back to his mind almost immediately, and the only thing he concluded was that he had a lot of things to sort through. But at least now his mind was clear enough to do so. Just as this thought came to him, he saw a shadow at the tent's entrance.

"Hey Boone?" Layla's voice filtered in from behind the cloth. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

The girl looked exhausted, and Boone felt a little guilty not helping her with the people in the camp. She sat on the other cot with a groan.

"Well, just some minor injuries, broken leg, bunch of dead Legionaries. And, I couldn't find Vulpes' body, so I'm sure he's still alive. Slippery bastard." She looked his way.

"How are you feeling?" she said, tiredly stretching her shoulders until they popped.

"Okay. I… Thank you." He took a deep breath. "I know I've been messed up. Things seem… clearer now."

There was a gentle smile on Layla's face when she got up, moving to his cot and sitting next to him. She put her arms around him, pulling him close. He returned the hug and found the awkwardness from before was gone, replaced with a warm, comforting feeling.

"You're welcome."

As she held him, a range of emotions assaulting Boone, from giddy joy to crushing guilt. There was something there that hadn't been fully formed before, but it just confused his thoughts more. Layla was giving him a concerned look.

"You okay?"

"I don't know," he admitted, and she gave him a half smile.

"That's better than a no."

Boone laughed without meaning to. "Yeah, I guess it is."

* * *

><p>I hope you've enjoyed the story, thank you for all the lovely reviews, favs and alertinginging (And thank you, Waterpeach, my editor is doing quite well now). Also, I hope everyone had a nice Easter, kinda forgot to put that earlier.<p>

Anyway, we'll be back in the saddle on Saturday with "Boomtown."


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